Human sexuality is a major importance when it comes to individuals all over the world. Although sexuality is talked about quite a bit, most human beings do not understand the importance that it plays in one’s daily life. Human sexuality is one of the major importance’s when it comes to relationships. In addition, there are many individuals who share different views on what they feel sexuality is and how it’s demonstrated. For example, Human beings seem to struggle each day in marriages trying to understand the opposite sex.
These individuals struggle with knowing how to deliver and receive affection, to understand sexual intimacy, and find it difficult to explain or know what love is considered. So the question is what is human sexuality? From research, I have found that human sexuality “goes far beyond anatomy, and sexual feelings we may have for another being. Human sexuality is the way that human beings relate; in addition, it’s how human beings sexual desires determine their actions. Human sexuality explains the dynamic of human perception, expression, and sexual health,” (Diamond, Ph.D., 2016).
Knowing now this logic of human sexuality, human beings can now implement it for a healthier relationship. In the Argosy University readings, a case where Nadia is the girlfriend of Steve, and Steve feels that it’s the right time to ask for Nadia’s hand in marriage. Nadia and Steve are American’s but Nadia was raised as a Muslim and Steve was raised a Methodist. Although, the families are happy about the engagement, as it is recommended the couple must go to premarital counseling.
My concern for the young couple is that they may not understand what sexuality is, and this could potentially cause issues later in their relationship. Most young couples do not understand how much human sexuality is a part of health and wellness. In addition, the couple should have a full understanding that sexuality is different in each individual, and that it dictates one way of life. What I find to be important is that if these individuals have had partners in the past, that they avoid comparing their own experiences to someone else they had as an ex-partner. Although, having an experience before hand can help them explore, it can also be a bad situation if it has not ended or incomparable.
Another concern that I find is that the couple needs to understand what sexuality means to each individual when it comes to religion. In many religions, sexuality has a place and it’s done a certain way. In counseling I feel it is important that Nadia and Steve learn about each individual up bringing when it comes to sexuality. I feel that if this is done it will help secure their relationship.
As in all things, there will be a negative side when it comes to sexuality. I do believe that it is important for each individual to feel secure in themselves and their experiences with one another. In all, communication is one of the most important things in any relationship and must be solid for progression. If communication is demonstrated each individual will learn what feels comfortable for the other person to make their experiences more enjoyable. Included with the negative side of sexuality, I feel that the couple should learn about sexual health because this will help the couple be open to learning about STD’s and what to do if one becomes pregnant without plan parenting.
It is valuable that they learn how to deal with these matters if it may arise. One of the things that I find many young couples struggle with is being safe when it comes to sexual activity. There is nothing wrong with expressing love to one another especially when married. However, all things must be considered and it should be done safely and the risk should be discussed. Nadia and Steve should also have the understanding that getting in bed and pleasing oneself without working up the experience emotionally can definitely damper their relationship. Many times couples struggle to get pleasure in the bedroom; this is because one or the other is focused on their own needs and not the other individual’s needs.
It is extremely important to understand that once intimacy has taken place, feelings of the heart is involved and that it is important to nourish that in their relationship.
Providing my own opinion, I do feel that it is important to think on maturity when it comes to situations as this. One thing I feel that should be pointed out is age and giving the couple an understanding that they do not have to jump into marriage so quickly. They must understand that a bond takes time, and just because they feel that they are ready for marriage does not mean that it’s the right time.
I do not have a problem telling a couple at all that one should not be married so soon, especially if they may not be mature enough to understand the risk and dedication it takes to live unselfishly and committed whole heartedly to one another. Intimacy is not only built with sex bit compassion, faithfulness, love, and kindness. All these aspect play a major role in having a healthy relationship. This is why I feel they should learn to be as one, and share their bad and good news with one another and learn how to deal with the negative stress of the world together. Asking the question to both parties of what marriage means to them, and getting a response from each individual will also be a great approach.
We must remember that one’s views on a topic may not be the same for another. Once each person has understanding of this, it gives them both time to find if this is the right step they are making at this point. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, Masters and Johnson’s work, shines a lot of light on how relationships are not always great. It explains how one needs to be able to share the good, bad, depressing times in their relationships if not, this could cause it to crumble. I feel that Nadia and Steve should understand this concept and work on building this relationship even before marriage.
Nadia and Steve must understand that when they are bond together they both are responsible for what works and what does not work in their marriage. In addition, if kids were brought into the marriage they must understand that becomes an even bigger responsibility to make sure they are leading by example.
It should be discussed on how children will change their dynamic if brought into the picture and each individual should give their views on children and when it is the appropriate time to start a family. As stated prior, I do feel that Nadia and Steve should take each individuals upbringing with religion seriously.
The fact that Nadia is Muslim and Steve is Methodist could cause issues in their relationship in many ways. One would be if the couple decides to take the next step in raising a family and one may feel that they want the children to be more of their religion than the other. These matters should be discussed. Another issue is where they would like the wedding to be held and what type of tradition will they be happy with. They must focus on the rules they feel should be set in place once married and if both respect each person’s suggestions.
When counseling a couple who have two different religions, it is also important to make sure that I ask questions that cater to each person’s upbringing allowing them to both feel that they have a chance to share their cultural experiences. This would allow me to make a safe place for each of them, to hopefully set them up to have a successful marriage with blended religions and mutual respect for each other’s upbringing.
The Psychology of Sexuality. (n.d.). Retrieved July 20, 2016, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/201405/the-psychology-sexuality
What does Bancroft’s Human Sexuality and its Problems tell … (n.d.). Retrieved July 20, 2016, from http://oro.open.ac.uk/40956/2/BarkerRichardsFP2013.pdf